Monday, September 14, 2009
It's currently 11:52, and I should be in bed right now. Or studying. But I've had this thought the past week, and want to share it before I forget it. As of late, I've heard many people singing the tune "Lead me to the Cross" by Hillsong United. It's a beautiful song. I adore it. Truly, I do. I guess I've just come to recognize that *trying to restate the obvious, and it isn't quite working for me* there is a difference between music and lyrics.
In the day of Jesus, I highly doubt that you would have seen people walking around singing "Lead me to the Cross." Why? Because a Cross represents death. Agonizingly, afflicted, labored, struggling death. The lyrics to Brooke Fraser's song are as follows:
Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross
I believe the reason I'm finding myself annoyed is because of this: if everyone who sang this song, lived lives like this -- lives where their daily plead was God take me. Hang myself, my desires, my passions, my sins, my boasts, my life, my everything -- kill me, so that I might be alive in You. If people started living lives that reflected the lyrics to the songs they sing, I think our world would have a totally different view on followers of Jesus.
Maybe to the world, voluntary surrender and intentional death of self sounds like a preposterous idea, but if the Spirit of God came into our lives and filled us in the places that we are currently occupying, I think the world would want to know -- to know and encounter this same Spirit. They would want to experience the Spirit that is the source for our endless mercy and love -- which would be our natural expression from dwelling with the Holy One.
To experience the love of a Father so deep that nothing can separate us from it. To rendezvous with the one that will never leave us, nor forsake us -- the One who will never break our fragile hearts or hurt us. The One who rejoices over mending our mangled self, and playing the role of the lover in the stories of our lives. Maybe, the reason I'm having such a hard time with this is because as Heirs of His throne, why is it that we look so much like the Heirs of this world? Maybe it's about time we, as followers, actually reflected the One we are following.
May it be said of us that we willingly welcomed the end of ourselves -- that in partaking of His death we might have new life. May the Spirit of God, which is promised to those who believe, be heavy in your life, and live your life through you. May we be His ambassadors, and resemble our true calling in life -- sons and daughters of the King who adores us. How great the Father's love for us! How vast -- beyond all measure! That He should give His only son, to make this wretch His treasure. May you know your value in His eyes, and may all of you be all for Him.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Have you ever been at a place in your life when you've tasted the fruit of something so sweet that you never want to go back to what you had before? Have you ever seen something so beautiful tears well up in your eyes? Have you ever experienced something so amazing that you would give anything -ANYTHING- to keep it?
I guess this is where I currently find myself. I've tasted the fruit of my Father, and I never want to go back. I'm done living for me. I'm done building for my own kingdom. I'm done holding expectations for my day, my future, my life. Every morning, I see His beauty in the clouds, and every afternoon, I see His beauty in the sunset... and yet I, we, are the apples of His eye. We are what He is most captivated with. Isn't that a revolutionary thought? That our Creator delights in His creation, and wants to know us in the most intimate way.
This summer, my theme has been to live wholly for God. Yes, I have been a "believer" for quite sometime now, but I would say that I have only been a "follower" of God for about a year. What does it mean to follow? Contrary to some rationale, it's not as simple as following the yellow brick road. The way I see it, following means surrender. Surrendering your life, your wishes, your possessions, your expectations, basically yourself, for Jesus. I believe that I became a follower of Jesus the moment I gave up every part of me. The other part of following is knowing who you are following. You see, I used to be concerned with where "following" would take me, but this summer I learned that it's not so much about knowing where I'm going, but encountering the One who is leading me. Throughout this summer, I've experienced God in an intimate way. An experience that taught me that there is nothing on this earth that is worth more to me, than what I have waiting for me when I draw my last breath. It is then that I will have the privilege of being with my Father in an unadulterated way. This summer I saw His beauty, I tasted His grace, I felt His love, and I have rested secure in His embrace. After tasting such wonderful things, seeing such beautiful sights, and feeling, I made the decision to follow Him.
Since then, my prayers have been simple. Simple to say, yes; simple to live, hardly.
Here's my life God, would it be Yours. With it, may I live radically for you, and would You use me to shine bright with hope in a hopeless world. Here are my dreams, they are Yours too. Would You take them far from me, and may I be dependent on You for my future. May I rest assure knowing that the adventure You have planned for me will be far greater than any will or aspiration I could have mustered on my own. Here's my heart God, would You break it for those that break Yours. Would You supply me with the kind of love that You have for Your creation, and would I lather it on those You put in my life. Here are my hands, would You use them to deliver care to those who are hurting, and those who are needy. Would You use them to deliver compassion, and a tender embrace. My lips are for You too. Would You use them to uplift and encourage. Would You supply them with special words and care, and would my speech bring You much glory. May my life bring you much glory. Father, here is all of me. It's all for You.
It's just that simple. I'm done living my life. May it be said of me, that my whole life amounted to Jesus, and would that be enough. This is me. This is where I'm at. I'm passionate about one thing, I desire one thing, and I won't stop until the day that my faith shall be my eyes. The anticipated day when I meet my Father face to face. You died for me, so I'll live for You. *Kel
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Hello :) It has been quite sometime since I've been able to sit down and blog, and I can't think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon than typing out the details of my life for all to see! Mmk, so here is a super quick run down of where I've been and what I've done since my last blog post. Are you ready for this? na na na na
1) I visited my dear friend Julie Farrell in the beautiful mountains of Ramah New Mexico. During my week with her there, I read, rode horses, rode quads, went for long walks, and trained her adorable mini pony (Cody) how to pull a cart! It was a wonderful week!
2) A week after that, I had a cavity filled (ew ew). I then proceeded to bite a nasty, bloody, hole into the side of my cheek... apparently that numbing stuff does wonders! I was biting my cheek and didn't even know it until the blood came pouring down.
3) A few days after that lovely experience, I flew out to San Jose, CA to meet up with my brother and grandpa! We left from San Jose on Saturday, August 1st. Our road trip took us through Northern California, up on the West side of the Cascades in Oregon, to Seattle (I definitely rode up to the top of the space needle :)). And from there, we drove up to Vancouver, over to Banff -which is literally the most breath taking place I've ever ever ever been! Seriously, seriously (check out the picture! It would make for the most adorable romantic getaway! No joke guys, I'm being serious!!! Ah ha) - then down to Montana, where we went white water rafting, and I jumped out of the boat into glacier run off (52 degrees) just because I could... :) Then we traveled through Idaho, where we met up with our beautiful WA family, over further West to Wenatchee (apple capitol of the world), down the East side of the Cascades, through Crater lake (OR), and back down to San Jose. It was the trip of a lifetime, and I have a whole blog written up about the life lessons I learned on the open road... really, they were just lessons learned from grandpa!
4) After flying home on the 10th, my mom, brother and I worked like crazy people to pull together the finishing details for my dad's surprise party. Needless to say, things went off without a hitch on August 12th, and he was delightfully surprised, and surrounded by his favorite Buzzard Bait guys!
5) I then enjoyed one last week of freedom before... get it: I started NURSING SCHOOL! woot woot :) I have already finished 2 weeks, and it has been amazing! So, so fun and absolutely thrilling!
And that brings me to where I am today. These were the events that have happened since my last blog post, but the affect of these experiences on my heart is a totally different story (one for my next blog posting)! So for the sake of your eyes, I'll end this blog here (if I wrote everything I want to say, I'd be exceeding a few dozen pages... so I'm trying to think in baby steps). If you get nothing else from my blog, get this... life is a grand adventure, and I wholly believe that's the way God intended it to be :) Peace and love because of Jesus, <3 Kel
P.S. The next blog will come tomorrow... details of the heart will be my topic ;)