Work in progress.

Do I make Your heart sad?

Do I make Your eyes leak?

I know that I made Your blood bleed.

Do You hear the cries of this child and see pangs from self inflicted wounds?

How my words must force the nails.

Tendon, bone.

Cracked, broken.

How my heart must lick Your side.

My apathy was the bitter sponge that You willing drank from.

My rebellion weighed in wood.

Misplaced on the temporary, my desperation fueled Your angst remark.

"Why have You forsaken me?"

You address not my soul, but the maker of this will.

No longer calling Him Father, but God, You were the blueprint for my freedom.

And Your body was cold.

Your skin, neatly wrapped.

The marker was placed on Your grave.

You really did die.

In death, You stripped me of my only shameful excuse.

Naked now, I'm left to be.

Sitting, unscathed, secure in belonging.

Guilt 6 feet down in the ground.

Light trickles in and Your whole self envelopes.

Quiet and still, Your spirit descends.

You whisper...

Hand out, My child, just trust
Be mine, my beloved; be different, be free
and always believe me when I say

I'm not finished with you yet.

{heart}
Kel

Listening to this and soaking in today.

Yours for the taking.

The levy of my soul breaks for You.

My inner waters flood the external.

They sing a chorus of praise, unique and free.

No guilt, no shame, just thanksgiving.

You are so kind.

I am drowning in Your goodness.

Wasting away in Your embrace.

My whole self is spilling over with the fullness You pour in.

I am quiet.

I am still.

I am taken.

I am Yours

and You are just right.

{heart}
Kel

Still with me.

On the medium of silence, my mind grows many thoughts.

Caught in the contamination, I have a choice.

To believe the father of lies, or to believe The Father.

Your voice is familiar, often quiet.

His voice can be loud, drowning the silence.

May I harvest the thoughts inoculated from Your heart.

If my thoughts influence my feelings, than who am I really listening to?

Because

I stretch, but do not feel straight.

I shower, but do not feel clean.

I run, but do not feel closer.

I sit, but do not feel quiet.

I dream, but do not understand.

I wake up.

And in the dark, Your self overwhelms me.

In the night You have drawn my heart so close to Yours.

That with my first waking breath, I can feel it.

I am breathing in and out Your grace.

And my mind may be a battlefield, but I have the best defense.

Jesus.

He reminds me that my heart is not up for the taking.

He reaches me with His truth, the greatest news.

The truth is: You played offense for my heart.

The competition for souls is over.

You are the greatest victor.

I lay my weary head down, to be affected by Your redemption in my dreams.

I wake up and rejoice, for You are still with me.

{heart}
Kel