Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Strong to a fault

You have made me strong.

At times, I realize, that I am strong to a fault.

As a gift to Your heart, oil to Your feet, I wake up from a full night's dreams, only wishing to surrender.

Help me to trust.

Lead me on Your path of life; steep, narrow, uneven.

Instill in me a heart that is eager to follow.

Stop these fears from placing a bridle on Your extravagant plans.

Sweetly woo the regins away from clasped fingers.

Let us run together, I the trusting one.

Keep me from dismounting when the path gets steep; as if my own two feet are more able than Yours.

May peace reign in my heart as we move at Your pace.

Never let me forget...

That You have been faithful in this life, amongst my faithless seasons.

That Your heart towards me is good; hands empty or hands full.

That the compass of Your heart is set on home and You are leading me on refining.

That You are my Great Protection, and together, we will flee the enemy.

That You are the Strong One.

That it is not a mark of failure to be weak with You.

That I cannot be more successful than being dependent on You and resting in You.

That You are kind.


Florida Update!
2 shifts left at work!
1 Family wedding
Going away party at my Parent's place on June 2 @ 6:30pm -- come!
I am shipping my car (with clothes, shoes, hair products)
I have purchased a One-way plane ticket
I am stoked to start my new job (and be on days)
I am looking forward to sharing life with a small handful of quality individuals that are receiving me on the other side

Friday, May 11, 2012

I was made to belong.




The pace of my day, the speed of my thoughts, seem to drown out Your presence.




My head sits perched, above my heart, as if to stand guard.

Good byes being said.

Boxes packed.

Dainty belongings, neatly loaded.

The bags of my soul seem to be waiting by the door too.

Slowing down.

Shutting up.

Tuning out... the world and all of its noise.

You tame me with Your grace.

You break me with Your tenderness.

You are kind.

You are good, and to that, my whole being can attest.

You are faithful.

You remind me... 

That trust is the antidote to anxiety.

That shalom can overcome the bitter sting of restlessness.

That stillness does not equate to failure.

That fear can prevent wild dreams from being attained.

That You delight in my asthmatic episodes of tears.

That the strength of my head is my way of keeping you an arms length away from my heart.

That Good Bye are two words that I will never hear from You, directed towards me.

That even though my address is changing, my soul can sink down roots in You, the bags of my soul can be unpacked in Your eternal dresser. 

Truth is...

You are worthy to be trusted, Your faithfulness litters my story.

Shalom is accessible to me, this day, because of Jesus.

I can not be more successful than being still, in spirit, and posturing myself before You.

You stopped at nothing to let Your love triumph over fear. Fear comes from the father of lies, but You are my Good Father, and I will choose this day, to listen to You.

Tears are my gift of surrender. Tender vulnerability, packaged in small wet drops, addressed to Your heart.

I have created the distance I feel between us, but You are dear, and Jesus was just dying to share Your intimacy with me.

Jesus secured my inheritance in You. That we will never again be separated. I will never be left nor forsaken, life in abundance is my reality because of Jesus.

My belonging is secure in You. My lease won't expire with You. I need not tread lightly with You.

I can be carried away in my rawness with You, because You are the only place I was made to belong.


FL update!!
-I'm out of my apartment in Tempe
-My one-way ticket has been purchased for FL
-I'm shipping my car and some of my things
-I have finished the process of converting my AZ Nursing license to a FL license
-I'll be staying with some dear family friends until I get on my feet
-My new job starts June 18th!