Wednesday, March 25, 2009

My Life as Defined by Country Lyrics

Last night, on my way home from watching 3 adorably awesome boys, I realized that certain country lyrics could describe me better than even my words could describe myself. So with that in mind, here are a few lyrics that will give you a better insight into me.... :)

Songs that describe me:

Brooks & Dunn "Cowgirls don't Cry"

Her daddy gave her, her first pony
Then taught her to ride
She climbed high in that saddle
Fell I don't know how many times
Taught her a lesson that she learned
Maybe a little too well

Cowgirls don't cry
Ride, baby, ride
lessons in life are going to show you in time
soon enough your gonna know why
it's gonna hurt every now and then
if you fall get back on again
Cowgirls don't cry

Taylor Swift "Tied Together with a Smile"

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, cause I know you...

Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
You cry, but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

Taylor Swift "A Place in this World"

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
This world

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans
And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine
Could you tell me what more do I need
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah
But that's ok

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
This world

Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission
But I'm ready to fly

some of those sounded depressing, but if you could take out the depressing undertone and add Jesus into those songs, they would sum up my soul! :)

Songs that describe the kind of friend I aspire to be/hope I am:

"These are the Days" (aka bestest song ever!)
Sometimes it feels like we won't make it through
But the hard times pass like the good ones do
Baby, wrap your fingers and hold on tight
I'll be right here beside you tonight

Whooa, whooa, whooa, whooa, whooa
We can't forget these are the days
whoooa, whoooa, don't be afraid
We can't forget these are the days

"Fall into Me" (mmk maybe this one is the bestest song ever!)
When the weight of the world bears
down so strong
You leave footprints on the street
And there’s too many miles to face
Without a few more hours sleep
The storm clouds overhead won’t
shed Any rain to quench your thirst
I wanna be the one you reach for first

When your faith is stretched so thin
That you can see straight through your soul
And you can’t find a nickel to buy a
smile ‘Cause your pockets all got holes
You wanna shut the door and hide
Before the day can get much worse
I wanna be the one you reach for

Fall into me
My arms are open wide
And you don’t have to say a word
‘Cause I already see
That it’s hard and you’re scared
And you’re tired and it hurts
And I wanna be the one you reach
for first

I wanna be the bottle
You’ve been drinking with your eyes
Or the road you run away on
You’ve been running all your life
The third row pew
That you last knew as a child in church
I wanna be the one you reach for first

Before you turn the key
Before you fall asleep
Before you drift away to fight those
demons waiting for you in your dreams
Before your arms are stretched wide open
Before you reach into the sky
Before you’re searching for direction
And all the answers to your why’s

Fall into me
Oh, my arms are stretched wide open
You don’t have to say a word
Because I already see
That it’s hard and you’re scared
And you’re tired and I know it hurts
Yes, it’s hard and you’re scared
And you’re tired and it hurts
And I wanna be the one you reach for first

Songs that describe my take on love:

Taylor Swift "You Belong with Me" (Yeah, I think most girls can relate to this one...)

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?

Carrie Underwood "Stand by You"
Oh why you look so sad
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I’ve seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

So if you're mad get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

Oh I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you

Okays :) Those songs are up to your interpretation as am I. The End.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I'm Done.

Today has been a blah day. Apparently, I caught a nasty cold from my camping trip this weekend -- which was incredible I will have you know. :) But yeah, I've been home alone pretty much all day today, and with the exception of dead-heading my flowers, and dropping Kev off at school, I've been in bed asleep pretty much all day :\ Ew. When I woke up from my nap this afternoon, I realized that I'm done. I am so done.

Exhausted and spent, I try so hard to hold onto the things in my life. With fists clenched tight around things I wish to have control over (my future, different friendships, just life in general I suppose...), I prayerfully offer all that I am -- all of me to God. My prayer is that He would use me and everything in my life to make Him look good. My desire is to be a strong representation of Him who holds my heart. Today, after my nap, I realized that when I try to hold onto things in my life, I'm not truly surrendering all of me to Him.

What a hypocrite. Often times, my motto in life has been all or nothing. Today, I decided to surrender all of me to Jesus. After open-handedly offering all of me to Him, I found myself wondering "why is it that I seem to come to this conclusion every 6 months or so?" The conclusion of needing to whole-heartedly surrender all of me to Jesus... The answer came to me in my time of devotion this evening. For those of you who don't know, I have been working my way through the old testament. I currently find myself in the Psalms, and today's passage really addressed my heart.

Psalm 85
Will you not revive us again,
that your people may rejoice in you?
Show us your steadfast love, O Lord,
and grant us your salvation.
Let me hear what God the Lord will speak,
for He will speak peace to his people,
to his saints;
but let them not turn back to folly.
Surely his salvation is near
to those who fear Him,
that glory may dwell in our land.
Righteousness will go before me
and make a way for my footsteps.

Towards the beginning of the old testament, God chose His people the Israelites. He was in relation with them. He led them and provided for them. He made a covenant with them that if they followed Him, and didn't turn astray and worship other Gods, that He would then not withhold any good thing from them and that His presence would continue to dwell with His people. For those of you who don't know how that story ends, the Israelites make it to the promise land, and within a matter of years turn away from God. Throughout the rest of the old testament history repeats itself. God's people repent and make promises that they then break within a matter of years or generations.

The psalmist who wrote Psalm 85, first began by reminding God of the covenant that He made with His people. Unlike man, God keeps His promises. The psalmist then began to plee to God, that He might revive the hearts of His people. That is so my prayer! I wish for Him to revive my heart, and I want nothing more than to rejoice in Him. I am thankful for His salvation but wish to continually be aware of His steadfast love for me. I wish to be silent and wait to hear the voice of God in my life, and my hope is that I will not turn back to folly - or to my inherently sinful ways of wishing to be in control of my life. Salvation has come for those who fear Him! And I wish to bring Him glory in my land forever and ever. His righteousness will go before me, and make a way for my footsteps. All I have to do is surrender and trust.

May He revive your heart, as well as mine. May you rejoice in Him and find peace. May you quietly wait to hear the voice of God in your life, and may you not turn back to your former ways as the Israelites did. May you have awareness of His steadfast love for you, and may you bring Him glory with your life forever and ever. May you experience the joy that comes with His salvation, and may His righteousness make a path for your footsteps.

I'm done.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Mountain of Death

I hiked a mountain this weekend :) No. Not just any old mountain. I hiked the Mountain of Death this weekend! You may have heard it called by its former name: The Flatiron, a hike in the Superstitions, but for the sake of my blog I have renamed it.

On Saturday morning, Kevin and I picked up our handy dandy friend Ryan (who should be renamed -mountain goat- for the sake of this blog because he scales rock like no one's business!) and decided to go hiking. We arrived at the trail head around 10:30 and started our hike. The first hour took us to the base of the Mountain of Death and it was here that Kevin tapped out. He felt *sick* Mhmm. Sure. Moving on, Ryan and I decided to go "a little bit further" and told Kevin that we'd be back for him in 30 mins. 30 mins later, we were still hiking UP and a friendly old man said that we were doing great and only about an hour from the top. With that in mind, I grinned and asked Ryan if he thought Kevin would mind... He said Nahh. :) So we proceeded to climb the Mountain of Death (MOD) without informing my poor invalid brother. Ha.

While I was climbing up the MOD, and trying not to die, *side note -- not dying seems to be the underlying theme of my life. huh. imagine that.* I came up with my own Cheesy-Fireside-Analogy (CFA as I so lovingly call it. It's a Hume Lakeism and if you haven't heard me talk about Hume, ask me because it has had a profound impact on my life!). Okay are you ready for my CFA? Life is like a mountain. Allow me to explain.

While I was hiking on Saturday, I realized that I tend to look at my feet 98% of the time. Yes, this is a good thing. Especially if I'm trying not to die on the MOD, but rarely ever would I pause to look at the beauty around me. Also, while I was looking at my feet and plotting my next step I couldn't help but think that I was never going to make it to the top. My thoughts were consumed with the difficulty of the task at hand and I really didn't have the final goal in mind. In life, I think that this concept is also applicable. In the middle of a trial, all I think about is the trial I'm facing. I never stop and consider the "big picture." And I certainly tend to overlook the beautiful work God is doing in the lives around me. I tend to think that life as I know it will never get better. Never improve. Often times, I feel like I'm never going to make it, and I lose sight of my goal.

Life is like a mountain. It is hard. But as a believer, I should come to expect an upward climb all the way. Every step might be plagued with doubt and difficulty, but I have to press on and strain to keep the final goal in mind. Jesus came not to make my hike easier, but to offer hope of reaching the top. Hope of being successful in my adventure. Speaking for myself, I am living for Jesus. Life with Him is my final goal. I might feel like giving up, or perhaps think that I will never make it to the top, but the truth is, that He has died for me so that I can be successful. I find comfort in knowing that I will make it to the top. Weak and weary, I will make it to the top. Tired and spent, I will make it to the top. Broken and hurting, I will make it to the top. Sinful and shamed, I will make it to the top. Not because of my own strength or accomplishments, but because of His. Life is like a mountain :)

To finish my story, Ryan and I made it to the top and it was incredible! It was quite the accomplishment. After potty breaks, shaky legs, fatty hands, an invalid brother and a rattlesnake, we made it back down to the parking lot and danced for joy. On Sunday, I woke up and felt like dying. Everything on me hurt and wished to be buried all thanks to the Mountain of Death.

"By Your Side"
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

May you come to expect a steep hike in life, and not be discouraged when it manifests. And may your gaze be upward and heart press onward towards the goal of being with Jesus.

Thursday, March 5, 2009


Hokay. So... I wanted to share the epiphany that I had at the beginning of this week...

First let my start off by saying that I was super excited to start this blog, and was trying to find the right word to describe what had occurred to me this week and I thought "Hmmm.... (that's me thinking) EPIPHANY! Yay I got it, that's the perfect word to describe what occurred to me this week!" *Epiphany as defined by is an intuitive perception -- just in case you were wondering.* Then, I re-read over my previous blog entries and discovered that I've used that word in both of my previous entries. So much for being original with my word choices! Fail. Epiphany epiphany epiphany epiphany. Okay, I'm done. Moving on. :)

This past Tuesday I was home alone and decided to go rollerblading and soak up all of the gorgeousness from outside. While I was out on my adventure, I was reflecting on all of the different relationships in my life. Family and friends. Acquaintances and strangers. I was thinking about everyone that I have ever carried on my heart, and thinking about the people that I currently carry on my heart. After spending a decent amount of time shuffling through all of the different lives and faces of those that I love, I had an epiphany (my new word of the week -- I just decided). Are you ready for this? Bear with me... it might sound uber cheesy or just plain odd, but that's me for ya!

Okay, so in the context of relationships, I run a heart hospital. I feel as if God is the doctor -- He preps people (by way of His Spirit), opens people up, removes the nasty stuff from within them, mends the broken, and heals the hurting. I am the nurse (shocker I know :) -- I care for the people inside of the hospital and I administer "the meds." The medication of course is love. The love is prescribed by and supplied by the Doctor (aka: God). Told you it was odd and cheesy!
But in all seriousness, I wake up every morning excited. The desire of my heart is that I may be sensitive to God's spirit that day, and that I may care for and administer love to everyone that He ushers into my hospital :) The world is so big, and I am just one person, but with the love that He has placed in my heart, I feel like I could move mountains. The love that dwells in me is definitely not from me. It is so much bigger than me. Love is just prevalent in my heart and that isn't because of anything I do, it's because of what He has done for me. My daily purpose is to love others -- more than myself, and I view each and every day as a new opportunity to love. To love with all that I am. My dear friends and family are definitely permanent patients in my heart hospital, but aside from them, I never know who might just walk into my triage today, and that is exciting! As cheesy as this epiphany is, it makes so much sense to me. God is so grand, and I am proud to say (and take comfort in knowing) that I am a permanent patient in His heart hospital. Aside from him my doors would be closed for business and I myself would be lost and broken. Aside from Him I would have no hope of redemption. But with Him, I know life and fullness of life. Because of His love for me I have been made whole, and have been reconciled to Him. His love for me is strong. His love you for is strong. His love is strong.

Jon Foreman lyrics <3>

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found?

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

May you come to know that His love for you is strong, and may you allow His love to fiercely pour through you into the lives' of others.

Monday, March 2, 2009


Ha. Love. The one little world that causes my world to remain in orbit. Over the past few weeks, I've been thinking why do I search for and seek out love and adoration from man, when I have all I need in Jesus?

Let me back up... Last year was the best year of my life. Yes, it was the hardest, roughest, toughest, most difficult year I've ever expereienced, yet it was the most rewarding, joyful and best year of my rather short life thus far! Last year, my New Years Resolution was to be satisfied daily with Jesus' love for me. And I was! Everyday His love for me was evident and my mission and purpose in life was to love Him and bring Him glory with my whole being. In loving Him, He gave me a heart for others' and unending joy. A few weeks back, I woke up one day and realized that something was off. Something was different. Something had gone wrong. I wasn't sure what it was, so I began to pray.

Through prayer and self reflection time, I realized that sometime last fall my heart's priorities had shifted. Somehow, I lost sight of the true reason I was living. Sometime over the winter break -- without even knowing it, my love for Jesus, and my pursuit of Him turned into a love of myself and a pursuit of the things which I desired most. Helloo Kelly. No wonder things felt so off! So last week, when this ephiphany occured to me, I was penitent (I just learned a new word thanks to! How exciting!! :) -- rather I began expressing sorrow over my sin. My sin grieved me. God loves me so much that He sent Jesus to come to earth, and die for me -- to illustrate His perfect love for me and in return, my heart wanders and I become self centered? Sad.

After repenting and re-fixing my eyes and whole heart on Jesus, I realized that I am the prodigal son. My heart (somehow -- without my mind really knowing it) went astray and pursued earthly love, why? was the clear question I was left with. Man's love is fleeting. God's love is steadfast. Man's love is decietful, it offers no satisfaction. God's love is life and wholeness of life.

So yeah, Jesus holds my heart. At His feet, in His presence I find my rest. He is my portion -- He is all that I need. In Him my heart is satisfied. My purpose in life is to make Him look good and to praise Him with all that I am. Thank you God for loving me! In my brokeness, you pick up the ugly pieces and craft my life into something beautiful. I give you all that I am -- every single piece of me and wish to thank you for loving me. For being my rock and my salvation. For welcoming this wayward heart back home, with warm and open arms. For holding my heart captive. May you never let it go.

Father I love you. May my heart and eyes be eternally fixed on You. May You continue to be my portion, and to satisfy my soul. All that I am, I give to You. May You empty me of me and fill me with You. May Your spirit dwell in me until I see You face to face. May You use me and my life to bring You glory. Thank You for loving me, for loving me fierecly. May Your love occupy my heart and may You use me to demonstrate Your love to others. I love You.
Your child says Amen.