Fear.

{For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power and love and self control. 2 Tim 1:7}

Hardened.

Brittle, not soft.

Like porous ground, stern as brick.

The culture of my heart has been difficult to cultivate.

Fibers grown callous by weeks of imbedded fear.

Fear.

The oppressive spirit, that has been willingly engaged.

It was a slow degeneration.

Soil growing dry.

Masked by business and several good byes.

A bitter progression lead me far from being vulnerable with You; impressionable and soft.

And I go to bed.

Feeling distant, light fading dim.

Feeling very much afraid.

And I awake from Your visions, colored and true.

You have been acquainted with fear.


You have known nothing of evil.

In the garden, eyes seeping tears, falling on ground, now fertile.

You begged that the cup, the Cross, be taken from You.

You are Jesus, tried and true.

You have faced the abominable presence of fear and remained steadfast.

Your heart, in sync with the Father's, was soft.

Soft, even in the presence of the most keen weapon of the evil one.

I awake to the sun rising, rejoicing in this: that The Son has risen.

You have not been bound by fear.

Your drops of blood, now rushing vast as a river, cover my indiscretions.

Your body, afflicted and hollow, beckons me to come and hide.

Your scars and nakedness resound with affection for me.

Your life and death and life eternal invite me to BE NOT AFRAID.

You drown me in Your good news.

Freedom is for today.

Life is for living, in tune with the Father.

Triumph is for the weak and trusting, for You are strong and worthy to be trusted.

Today, this day, I am secure in this: that my lot is in You

... and You will complete the work You have begun in me.

May You set Your hand to the plow in my heart and not finish until my fields are pliable.

Tender, like Jesus.

{heart}
Kel

FL Update!
-This is from a few weeks ago -- when I was battling fear and anxiety related to the move. There are so many unknowns! After 3 precious people prayed peace over my life in the span of 24 hours, I realized that I was engaging fear, instead of wasting away in trust with the Father.
-My car is officially in FL! I feel like a pre-adolescent again. Asking mom and dad for rides! They have been more than gracious :)
-Saying goodbyes has left me feeling emotionally bankrupt.
-Because of that, I'm looking forward to not knowing many people on the other end! This will give me some time to recoup and rebuild what I have with Jesus in the secret places of my heart.
-I've been asked to speak at the ASU School of Nursing Induction Ceremony in August, so it looks like I'll be coming back for a visit then :) :)
-I fly out early Tuesday morning and am truly excited to start this new chapter!