When words fail.

The only response is HOLY GHOST.

Tonight was one of those nights. You know, the kind of night where you get to your car and you just want to close the door and scream. And then sob. And then laugh like you're crazy.

The kind of night where you leave the building and the only thing you are thinking is "Oh my goodness, I simply HAVE to share this with someone! But who?!?"

Yeah, welcome to my evening. If you were here, in our wedding-cluttered office, I would jump onto your lap and tell you my story, all with the excitement of a giddy school girl of course!

Background: I like to pray. For those of you who know me, prayer is kind of my favorite. More background: A few years ago, while I was in the mountains, God spoke very clearly to me and said "you are to be an intercessor" My response?!? "Hmm, well okay! Whatever that means... God if that's from You, You'll have to teach me." Fast forward one month and 3 (yes, three) people came up to me at random and said that they felt like God was telling them to tell me that I was to be an intercessor.

One of those three gave me a book on prayer. And so my journey began.

Fast forward more... I have many stories (and soap boxes) that I could share -- or stand on for that matter (mmk I'm already over that analogy), but all you need to know is that I met this guy named Daniel, and we would pray over the church, every Thursday. With two other ladies.

Two months ago, Daniel told me about a ministry at church. He said that there were 9 people in their 20's that were going to spend 2-3 months doing missions over seas. He said that there was a week-long training program and that part of their training was on prayer.

"Sweet!" I thought to myself. But then he went on... and asked if I would lead the portion on prayer. I laughed and thought "uh, me?". "Yes." was his emphatic reply.

Fast forward to tonight. I am in my car, in the parking lot, praying "God, what have I done?". Convinced that I have nothing to share, so much more to learn, and feeling like the baby in the group -- here comes Kelly. Younger than anyone in the group and yet LEADING the group?!? Yeah. My thoughts exactly. This is CRAZY.

I pray for strength, pray for something, anything, to say and muster up the courage to go in.

I go in, and recognize a face; he was one of the 9 and jokingly said "Oh hey, look! Kelly is here. She's going to lead our next group." I smiled and said "Yes!" and then laughter emerged. He was joking. I was serious.

"I can't do this without You" I prayed, and then I opened my mouth.

What followed was nothing short of a HOLY GHOST moment. 3.5 hours might be more accurate. It was ridiculous. I am not kidding you.

I talked for a few mins about my passion for prayer, and tried to convince the 9 to get crazy about it too. They were hesitant to say the least. I mean, prayer? Really?

After finishing my short spiel, I asked permission to prayer over everyone before taking off. The agreed and we pushed one chair in the middle. A hot seat, so to speak.

What followed was 3 hours of Holy Spirit. I am not kidding you. *This is the point where I would pinch your cheeks and say "Um, I am being FOR REALS serious" if you were here sitting with me* The Most Holy Spirit of God provided insight into each person, each story, each need. He gave the precious gift of His discernment and the things that came pouring out of my mouth were ridiculous.

Who am I that the LORD God would look upon me with such favor?

Who am I that He would gift me with the ability to look into 9 precious souls?

What was even more remarkable were the prayers of His people. These 9 people went from being skeptical about this whole prayer thing, to men and women that were emboldened by the Spirit of God, and ones that spoke with the authority that only comes from His Spirit.

Our time together was rich, and after the last person had been prayed for, after the last Amen, we all stepped back and looked at each other. In shock. We wondered "what just happened?"

I kid you not. The Spirit of God was alive in that place. Heavy, tangible; He poured His Spirit out among His people. Here, in Gilbert AZ, in the back of our church building, a new group of intercessors were born.

I love it when God comes and wrecks your night.

I love it when He leaves you speechless and grinning.

I love it when He kindles fire in the hearts of His bride.

I love Him.

Just had to share before going to bed. Simply couldn't sleep without doing it!

{heart}

Kel

From dust to dust.

Coming from dust, You breathed this life into existence.
On par for returning to dust, who am I that You would want me?

That You would woo me to Yourself?
That You would desire communion with me?
That You would make a way for me to know you?
And love my soul?

This body is going to be humbled right back to the dirt, where it first began.
Who am I that You would be mindful of me, jealous for my soul, and hungry for my devotion?

Who am I, O God, that You would want me for Yourself?

Praise be to God the Father, the One I belong to, the One who has set me free.

Praise be to Him who makes beautiful things out of the dust.

I am free to love You.

{heart}
Kel

You simply MUST listen to this. I am not kidding. Click on it <------
Weekend update: Kevin got hitched on Friday night -- pictures of that to come later! Woke up on Sat morning (4:40am) to attend this. And in case you were wondering, the 7 hours of driving and almost falling asleep at the wheel on the way up... were TOTALLY worth the 30 hours we spent up at Lost Canyon!


Stopping for tea after 2.5 hours of driving and trying to convince my eyelids to stay open.


Unforgettable ice breaker game with Becky... my nose became very familiar with her naval! ;)


A few of my PhxOne favs!


The PhxOne crew!


6/400 of us came from Sun Valley! We need to step up our game next year... Simply had to share, and now I say goodnight!

Nothing to say. Which means, I'll blog.

Ah! I am just dying to write.

I have neatly bottled up every thought, experience, memory, and nostalgic moment from the past two weeks and have been UNABLE to write them down... thank you missing journal (*cough* BRIAUNA HOYT *cough* ;).

Tonight, with my brother love in the room beside me, I am feeling like the aforementioned are about to overflow from my little bottle. And make my eyes leak. Neither are my fav.

Writing is essential, but what do I have to say?

A whole lot of nothing, I'm afraid.

I've been withdrawn this week. As if my subconscious is aware of the separation that will occur tomorrow, that needs to occur tomorrow (wedding day).

In March, a family friend of mine inquired about my relationship with Kevin. He asked if our relationship was unhealthy. "Unhealthy?" I thought to myself "well you clearly don't know us." But as I got to thinking about it, maybe he was on to something.

Family is forever, and of that I am sure. Kevin's involvement, his presence in my life, has always been a given, always assumed. I was never a choice, more like a natural extension.

What will our relationship look like now that he is intentionally choosing to spend forever with someone else? -Pause: I'm thinking out loud here. No answers or obvious conclusion have been reached. No guilt or weirdness is meant if (or shall I say... when) Kev reads this-

What should our relationship look like now that he is incorporating someone into the family?

How involved is too involved, how close is too close? Where do I need to place myself in the relationship to be showing love, but not overstepping the sisterly boundaries?

Like I said, much to stew on. Even more word vomit to eject onto paper.

I haven't reached conclusions. Heck, I haven't even begun to process the changes my life will be incurring in the weeks ahead.

I need solitude time. But not really. When has being alone with yourself EVER been the answer? I need Jesus time.

Time to be reassured of my belongingness to Him. To sit and be still and QUIET. To be intentional in listening, posturing my soul to be receptive to the very whisper of God. Surely the answer is not found in myself, in quiet time with me, it is found in Him.

May my heart forever be in Him and as a result, may He always be my treasure. May I look to change with a smile and confidence, and may I welcome on the adversities that accompany it. May my love always go free, may it never be manipulative, and may it always be liberating. May I be Your weeping prophet and learn to sow seeds with each tear.

I'm just about done.

Lord, empty this well of myself... one. bucket. at. a. time. May You empty it of me, pour it out, patch me up and always refill me with the seal of Your Spirit. May You run deep within me, and overflow for the sake of Your people -- that they might come to know you through me. This is my desire.

{heart}
Kel


Rehearsal day -- before our facials, hair appts and nails!

Hannah and Olivia!

The lovely Mrs!

After the time at the spa AND before the rehearsal...

My fav photo of the night.

Oh em gee myspace :D

Walking into dinner, trying not to die in the puddles and 4inch heels.

Yes, I like him.

Baby love!

We picked my baby cuz up from the airport this am and hit up Liberty for coffee and scones!

The new addition to Holidays, special days, heck any days. Welcome Jones fam, we are lucky to be joining forces with you!